That’s right, pure evil! 36 labor days, and for the first time, I missed out on hot dogs on the grill, the final swim of the season, and my dad’s fireworks. Instead, I became painfully acquainted with the agony of crutches—seriously, industrial designers, it’s time for a redesign! These medieval torture devices leave your armpits raw and your patience thin. Thank goodness for Rebecca and her trusty walker; she’s officially crowned my savior!
It all started 11 days ago while dog-sitting for my parents. In a misguided attempt to save an overly round Labrador from tumbling off the bed, I bravely (but foolishly) caught her—on one leg. Alas, I am no Wonder Woman.
Lessons Learned:
- Do Not Attempt to Lift a 70lb Dog on One Leg
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t end well. - Calf Sprains Hurt
More than a ski pole up the nose, a broken leg, or even bruised ribs (yes, I’ve tried them all, because apparently, I think I’m invincible). - My Four-Story, 100+ Year-Old House is Not ADA Approved
Every step feels like a new level in a twisted game of “how much pain can you endure?” - Creativity is Hard When You’re in Agony
Working through shooting knife pain is, as you can imagine, impossible. - When Your Leg Feels Stiff, REST!
Otherwise, your doctor at urgent care will shake his head and command, “No walking!” for six days. And when you try to argue, he’ll simply repeat, “No!”
My husband, bless his soul, deserves an award for putting up with me and my misadventures.
I should be returning to normal activities tomorrow, albeit not at 100%. But one thing is for sure—I have a newfound appreciation for my legs and toes. You truly don’t know what you’ve got until it’s sprained.. I won’t be a 100% but I sure do appreciate my legs and toes more than you can imagine.